One of my favorite pastimes is making up fake, but totally awesome, band-names. The process involves combining pop-culture references, slang nobody uses, inside jokes, “odd” words that come up in conversation which don’t belong together, and even the occasional curse-word. All it takes is some quick thinking to come up with your own fake band-name. Then you turn to your friend, blurt out your concoction and pronounce “that’s the name of our band.” My most recent creation, put together after telling a friend about the art of the fake band-name, is “Awesome Band Name Hall of Fame.” To complicate matters, I’m a real member of a semi-active Noise band with the unremarkable name Thunderstorm, and a not-at-all-active Electronica duo with the more-than-remarkable name Pandog, which both play real music despite having begun existence as “fake” bands. Weird…
My point, if I have one, is that this exercise in band-name fakery could play an important role in naming very real bands. And band-names are important. Just look at recent Blogarhythms featurees; Black Kids and The Carps. The name Black Kids screams dopeness, and the band more than lives up to the standard set by their moniker. While the name The Carps conjures images of smelly fish, which that band thankfully knock right out of your head by being far iller than their name would imply. Which brings me to an experimental Dance-Rock band from Toronto, Canada bearing the ballsy name Holy Fuck. Yeah, giving yourself a name that nobody can say on radio or television, that’s pretty freakin’ high on the awesome-meter. The only problem with picking such a radical name is that you have to be able to back it up. If your band is called Holy Fuck then your music better make me stop and say “holy fuck.” And while they make good enough music, presenting a funky pastiche of rhythmic Disco-Punk, Indie-Dance, and lo-fi Electronica instrumentals on their new album LP, I don’t think these guys are necessarily “holy fuck” awesome. Even so, making good music and having a great band-name is more than most guys pounding away on their instruments can ever hope for.
Watch “Milk Shake”
Playing a similar brand of uptempo, dancefloor-friendly Rock (think LCD Soundsystem and !!! (Chk Chk Chk) for reference) and bearing a name that is just as FCC-un-friendly, Shitdisco is a Glasgow, Scotland-based band that has the band-name, album-name, and label-name game on lock. First they came up with a killer band-name, then they titled their album Kingdom of Fear, before releasing it on a label called Fierce Panda! Triple threat! More importantly though, they picked a name that’s both memory-etchingly dope and potentially offensive, but not so unreasonably awesome that it sets up unachievable expectations for the band, who more than acquit themselves with irresistibly catchy high-energy music, lyrics about hiding ones tumescence, and song titles like “I Know Kung Fu.” To tell you the truth, I think their awesomeness might actually exceed that of their band-name, which is high praise indeed.
Watch “I Know Kung Fu”
Whether you’re a musician or not, making up band-names can be fun! And you never know when something that started as a joke to entertain your friends could turn into something more.
-El Keter
