this is an experiment in humanity. i have replaced my television with a record shelf and a turntable. i have cancelled my digital cabal. i have put away the gaming systems. i have placed my bookshelf as the centerpiece of the livingroom. all that is great and all but there is one last thing tugging at my existence. one last demanding, harrowing little devil that desperately wants to keep me engaged in a sedentary lifestyle…
thats right. you guessed it. the internet.
as part of my self rehumanization process i have erased all of my bookmarks from my browser (leaving only the toolbar for this blog). i have removed my browsers from my easy access toolbar. i have erased ichat, adium and aol instant messenger off my computer and stored the programs on a small usb drive that i have put in a drawer.
what am i doing? why am i doing it? i dont know. there is a voice in my head screaming for change and freedom. and if you put your ear really close to the screen you can almost hear it saying,
“maybe now you can beat off without the use of asian piss camel robot sheisen fetish amature bukake speedball death match punane slideshow bunny snuff shower anime.”
lets hope so, voice. lets just hope so.
34 Comments
as long as it doesn’t affect your bracing narrations of apocalyptic prognostication, i commend you sir.
That’s taking it pretty far but you’re probably right to do this.
Besides, interns can do all that web stuff for you!
You’ve inspired me good sir.
Today I quit TV, Porn, and pointless web surfing.
I’m allowing myself DVDs and Skate on Xbox as crutches for now… but its a good start.
Keep us updated on how it goes.
The perfect opportunity for you to explore your taste for sci-fi: Burning Chrome.
being sober works too.
I’m internet free at the house (I’d kill myself without it at work). It can be difficult at first, but the productivity is worth not having it.
u got rid of adium too?!?
nooo that little voice you’re hearing is the adium duck. it’s not quack quacking at you. it’s quisper quispering to you.
you can’t go cold turkey when there is warm gravy - my friend.
(no homo).
you can’t start a diet and say i’ll lose 5 lbs the first day by chopping off my leg. an arm’s okay though. cause at least you’ll still be able to stand on the scale.
$
i have no idea wtf i just said. maybe you don’t need the interwebs.
(:
I’ve considered this myself many times. Only not so much getting rid of the my flatscreen tv (Metal Gear 4 is sick), but more like getting rid of cable all together and not watching tv any more. Im down with the voice of change no doubt. The internet is definitely a time waster as well despite the fact that my day job utterly depends on it. I admire your courage best of luck.
Bless us with some new tunes asap!
Dude, this might ruin you.
GODSPEED, EL.
El, how is sitting there and listening to music any different from sitting there and watching tv?
man i can see getting rid of the tv, but most of the internet? i wish i were as in control of myselfas you, but i need updates on shoes and music… and art…. that’s somewhat hard with little internet usage….
Beautiful. Welcome to the club, Babe.
You may find yourself cleaning and de-cluttering the rest of your home. Throw away all that hoarded shit you dont need/use. Not much else will make you feel lighter and freer.
Check the second verse courtesy of the uk’s jehst for a well articulated slant here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65_O_EZ91jc
Aesop’s Basic Cable from float made me give up tv for a whole year
word to
x
It’s all about self control.
I’m keepin’ my tv, my ps2, and all my games cause I have my 2 bikes, skate board, protools, vinyl collection, and paints to keep me occupied.
My glowing bitch rarely gets any attention.
Ass kissers. I fuckin’ love my tv, PS3, and internet. Seriously, what is better than playing GTA IV, blasting some fucking music, getting stoned, while simultaneously download scads of porn on your computer that you can use to cry yourself to sleep at the end a day that always ends with a whimper?
I’ll take your flat screen El. That way I could be playing Metal Gear 4, watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, ripping bong hits, downloading the new Murs album, chugging beer, stacking up porn mpgs off Limewire, emptying bottles of lotion, all coalescing into an epiphany of catasrophic joy and indulgent self destruction until I can’t take any more body and mental stimulation…
Of course, that is when my wife walks in and see me, pants around my ankles, surrounded in a cloud of smoke, teerting on the edge of the couch humping a black body pillow with Princess Superstar’s face printed out, cut out(carefully), and taped to what would appear the top of said pillow. After that, the only noise to be heard would be the sounds of the many grounded beers on the floor that scrape against the closing door as she walks out and shuts it behind her on her way……. TO BUY MORE FUCKING BEER!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I have forsaken the TELL LIES VISION long ago and can see clearly now.
Good luck with that. Let us know how it goes. I’m not even gonna lie, I be on my ichat/reality TV game heavy lol.
http://www.GangstarrGirl.com
I assume you’ve read the glass teat (and the other glass teat) since you’re a Harlan fan. I’ve slowly given it up over the last few years, kind of without thinking. Now I just catch the occasional sportscenter and watch fresh prince reruns with my girl. I don’t think giving up television makes you better than anyone else, but it sure as hell gives you more time, I’ve been able to focus on music and writing as it’s sort of faded away.
Change is what we all yearn for, EL. Now you just need to flush your cellphone down the drain and you’re good to go.
dude, WifeSwap is on in 20 minutes, wtf are you doing….
I commend your response to the lesser minded activities of the modern world. Having been teevee free for 2 years now has enabled me to completely ignore the conversations about Big Brother, Britains Got Talent and Deadliest Catch that make up the daily chit-chat at work.
But then I’m sat on my own surrounded by puzzled faces as I attempt to explain the genius of Alan Moore to my colleagues.
Aint life a bitch?
Sure you can beat off without that. But why would anyone want to?
Why have hamburger when you can have steak?
yeah El, i actually did this for like half ayear and i can tell you it doesnt really change anything. after you adjust to the new level of background noise you’ll just go back to doing what you did for real fun before. no difference in me atleast. hey, try meditating for a few hours a day while your at it, and refuse some type of food or something like that! yaknow, go nuts with it.
so got any plans for the time youre gonna be NOT consuming ideas?
i wondered before posting this, if it was good enough for you. really.
You know, I haven’t watched tv for such and such amount of time (almost three years). I use the internet all of the time now though, and now I download tv shows: weeds, pbs e2, cool documentaries, etc… The internet is a hulking beast of an on demand edutainment box. someone’s gotta bitch slap it though.
Man, you and chuck palahniuk should have a chat. he wrote fight club, choke, and a bunch of other great books. he does it all without a computer or a television, living in a cabin in oregon, last I heard. he’s my inspiration for chucking the tv and video game players.
he’s a carpenter too Liz, no previous writing. read three of his books in the past 2 months, reading Rant now.
might i suggest a good read to go with your new found time away from television and the internet. Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series. It’s lengthy with 7 books in the series but well worth it. if you haven’t read them already that is.
“and a bunch of other great books. he does it all without a computer or a television”.
since when does writing fiction books have anything to do with television? or with computers for that fact (except for making ‘rewriting’ a far more easier process)?
I commend you sir. Good luck on the withdrawls. Let me/us know how it goes. I find life boring as hell. Since we all, for the most part, have a roof over our heads, and food on the table everything else is just finding ways to spend time. Waring, fucking, rhyming, all of it seems to be merely just ways to spend time. tick-tock. Women are the biggest time killers. Women will kill every thing you love, and replace it with a love that makes no sense. Beware. Fuck only, until you are ready to leave it all behind. I recommend that love only after you make at least two more albums. Here’s to the insane. Peace.
the words i just read caused the internet’s rope around my throat to squeeze a little harder. on paper, i applaud the idea, but…i’m not there yet. soon though. soon.
So, did it work?!!
hey, i use adium too. the noises it make are a pain in the ass, i think of pigeons getting raped every time somebody i.m.’s me